A VIEW FROM THE TERRACE
Langford v Beloved Aylesbury FC.
It was a lovely day, the sun was shining and there was a slight breeze.
I arrived in good time to have a couple of pints before the game as this is the only time I get away from the wife and she cant see how much I’m drinking.
I wandered into the garden at the back of the bar and had a sit down in the sun with my third pint: it was going down lovely.
Twenty minutes to go: Loads of time to just sit and relax in the sun and watch the lads warm up at the far end of the ground. Whoooooo a high pitched screaming erupted round the ground making me jump and spill my drink down my shirt. Some idiot had turned the PA on and it was at full volume. People came running from all directions and it took a good 30 seconds to turn it of.
So much for the relaxing in the sun with my pint, for the next five minutes I was treated to, one two, one two, one two Oi! Bob can you hear me at the back. I don’t know about Bob hearing him at the back the whole bloody village could hear him. At any moment I expected him to go into Karaoke, if he went into Frank Sinatra that mike was going where the sun don’t shine.
The Chairman came into the garden and nodded to me and I wondered if with this recognition now was a good time to ask him if I could get in to home games for free and then thought better of it when he went into a huddle with the director of football and he is a big bloke.
It was time to take up my position there was five minutes to go. I like to stand near the dugouts so I can hear the managers swearing at one another; over the past couple of years I have learned a lot of new words from this position.
The teams came out, blimey I was at the wrong ground, one team was in all red, Langford and the other in all blue with white socks. Our away strip should have been white and black. I asked the bloke next to me what’s that they’re wearing and he looked at me blank, he was a Langford supporter.
Apparently the chairman had bought a new away kit and not told me. The kit was a sort of blue, royal blue, no sort of sky blue, no Italian world cup light blue. Anyway it was light blue and I must admit quiet striking, the lads looked pretty.
The teams turned round after the toss and I wondered if a breeze that sometimes gusted would have any bearing on the game, it turned out not to be so.
Right from the start Aylesbury were the dominant side and as has been the case in the last couple of games, should have been at least three up in the first quarter of an hour.
I hoped this was not going to be one of those games where you have all the chances and then fall for a sucker punch.
My fears were laid to rest just on the half hour when Price who was looking dangerous beat three players on the right cut in and let a fierce shot fly. As the ball was in the air the Langford keeper showed his true colours, he wanted to wear the lovely blue kit. He crashed to the floor lit a cigarette and watched the ball smash into the net.
At this point being a wise fellow, he decided to be injured and no wonder, he must of thought if this lot are going to smash balls at me all afternoon like that I’m out of here.
While the keeper was getting psycho analysed on the park the golden goal was being announced, I dug my ticket out of my pocket, I was going to be close, 30 minutes I had, they announced it, 29 minutes, they had cheated me I know it was thirty.
A lot of laughter was going on in the stand where our higher management and cronies had gathered and they seemed to be having a party. I saw the Langford official hand money over to our president, what’s his name and knew they had fixed it. He even called out “let me know when you do the raffle” and they all laughed, I don’t know what they were laughing at, it was my money.
The rest of the half was finely balanced but Aylesbury were always just the better side. Everyone knew one goal was not going to put the game to bed and on the stroke of half time we were all relieved to see the second goal go in. A great cross a great shot and the rebound being slotted in by Henny.
The half time whistle blew and off I went for another beer, if I was quick I might get two in.
Someone was doing a raffle in the bar and as I put my hand in my pocket to get my money out I thought better of it, I was not going to give any more money to what’s his name.
I got back as the second half started, I had managed to get two pints in and a hot dog and no raffle ticket.
The half started as the first had left off with Aylesbury well on top.
Ben Stevens playing centre half went up for a ball and got a bop on the beak for his trouble, he went down like a sack of potatoes.
While he was being tended to I watched the party going on in the stand, they were probably sharing out my money.
Ben had blood on his shirt and our beloved management team had not brought a spare out to the pitch. Ben had to wait with two great big white things stuck up his snout while he waited for a new shirt.
Our management team sprang into action. Trevor our assistant manager sprinted down the line to talk to our director of football, the director of football sprinted three yards and gave up puffing and Trevor had to continue to get the shirt. The shirt came but Ben was in no state to continue as he had a broken beak.
Our third goal came shortly after and I must admit it was due to a fantastic bit of refereeing and great lining. Brennan put through the ball and Henney was miles offside but he stopped running. Schmidt, who was a long way back took off like a greyhound and collected the ball, rounded the keeper and slotted in.
Now was the time I loved being near the dugout. Langford’s manager was up and out of his seat, I got my pen ready, I just hoped I could spell some of what he was saying. A lot of it was about the linesman’s mother but I didn’t know what that had to do with it.
I decided to move further down the pitch to the Langford end as that was where all the action was as Aylesbury were so much on top and I didn’t think their manager would say a lot more as he just seemed to be sitting in his dugout stunned. I also had five pints of lager kicking in and it was hard to see that far.
Langford were losing their rag now and arguing and putting in high tackles. There is only one way to handle this and Aylesbury did what was needed, they scored again.
Brennan latched on a miss field but still had a lot to do, but he did it superbly and slotted home.
It was 4 – 0 game set and match, well not quiet. Langford was putting on a little bit of pressure and I edged round to the clubhouse for a whiz. As I got to the door Henney calmly poked in number five, this was a rout; I thought I would have another drink to celebrate.
I came out suitably refreshed and stood behind the goal and what a place to stand to see the sixth goal. Henney was put through by Schmidt and the keeper came out to narrow the angle, just like my eyes were narrowing to see the play. As the keeper came out to close him, Henney coolly lobbed him from sixteen yards, right into the right hand corner.
It had been a great display by the team; I could not fault any of them.
The Chairman came past me and gave me a wink, I might ask him about that free ticket and then what’s his name came past and I could see the bulge in his pocket where my money was.
Even Danny was smiling and you don’t see that very often.
Oh well, time for a drink and then home.
Langford v Beloved Aylesbury FC.
It was a lovely day, the sun was shining and there was a slight breeze.
I arrived in good time to have a couple of pints before the game as this is the only time I get away from the wife and she cant see how much I’m drinking.
I wandered into the garden at the back of the bar and had a sit down in the sun with my third pint: it was going down lovely.
Twenty minutes to go: Loads of time to just sit and relax in the sun and watch the lads warm up at the far end of the ground. Whoooooo a high pitched screaming erupted round the ground making me jump and spill my drink down my shirt. Some idiot had turned the PA on and it was at full volume. People came running from all directions and it took a good 30 seconds to turn it of.
So much for the relaxing in the sun with my pint, for the next five minutes I was treated to, one two, one two, one two Oi! Bob can you hear me at the back. I don’t know about Bob hearing him at the back the whole bloody village could hear him. At any moment I expected him to go into Karaoke, if he went into Frank Sinatra that mike was going where the sun don’t shine.
The Chairman came into the garden and nodded to me and I wondered if with this recognition now was a good time to ask him if I could get in to home games for free and then thought better of it when he went into a huddle with the director of football and he is a big bloke.
It was time to take up my position there was five minutes to go. I like to stand near the dugouts so I can hear the managers swearing at one another; over the past couple of years I have learned a lot of new words from this position.
The teams came out, blimey I was at the wrong ground, one team was in all red, Langford and the other in all blue with white socks. Our away strip should have been white and black. I asked the bloke next to me what’s that they’re wearing and he looked at me blank, he was a Langford supporter.
Apparently the chairman had bought a new away kit and not told me. The kit was a sort of blue, royal blue, no sort of sky blue, no Italian world cup light blue. Anyway it was light blue and I must admit quiet striking, the lads looked pretty.
The teams turned round after the toss and I wondered if a breeze that sometimes gusted would have any bearing on the game, it turned out not to be so.
Right from the start Aylesbury were the dominant side and as has been the case in the last couple of games, should have been at least three up in the first quarter of an hour.
I hoped this was not going to be one of those games where you have all the chances and then fall for a sucker punch.
My fears were laid to rest just on the half hour when Price who was looking dangerous beat three players on the right cut in and let a fierce shot fly. As the ball was in the air the Langford keeper showed his true colours, he wanted to wear the lovely blue kit. He crashed to the floor lit a cigarette and watched the ball smash into the net.
At this point being a wise fellow, he decided to be injured and no wonder, he must of thought if this lot are going to smash balls at me all afternoon like that I’m out of here.
While the keeper was getting psycho analysed on the park the golden goal was being announced, I dug my ticket out of my pocket, I was going to be close, 30 minutes I had, they announced it, 29 minutes, they had cheated me I know it was thirty.
A lot of laughter was going on in the stand where our higher management and cronies had gathered and they seemed to be having a party. I saw the Langford official hand money over to our president, what’s his name and knew they had fixed it. He even called out “let me know when you do the raffle” and they all laughed, I don’t know what they were laughing at, it was my money.
The rest of the half was finely balanced but Aylesbury were always just the better side. Everyone knew one goal was not going to put the game to bed and on the stroke of half time we were all relieved to see the second goal go in. A great cross a great shot and the rebound being slotted in by Henny.
The half time whistle blew and off I went for another beer, if I was quick I might get two in.
Someone was doing a raffle in the bar and as I put my hand in my pocket to get my money out I thought better of it, I was not going to give any more money to what’s his name.
I got back as the second half started, I had managed to get two pints in and a hot dog and no raffle ticket.
The half started as the first had left off with Aylesbury well on top.
Ben Stevens playing centre half went up for a ball and got a bop on the beak for his trouble, he went down like a sack of potatoes.
While he was being tended to I watched the party going on in the stand, they were probably sharing out my money.
Ben had blood on his shirt and our beloved management team had not brought a spare out to the pitch. Ben had to wait with two great big white things stuck up his snout while he waited for a new shirt.
Our management team sprang into action. Trevor our assistant manager sprinted down the line to talk to our director of football, the director of football sprinted three yards and gave up puffing and Trevor had to continue to get the shirt. The shirt came but Ben was in no state to continue as he had a broken beak.
Our third goal came shortly after and I must admit it was due to a fantastic bit of refereeing and great lining. Brennan put through the ball and Henney was miles offside but he stopped running. Schmidt, who was a long way back took off like a greyhound and collected the ball, rounded the keeper and slotted in.
Now was the time I loved being near the dugout. Langford’s manager was up and out of his seat, I got my pen ready, I just hoped I could spell some of what he was saying. A lot of it was about the linesman’s mother but I didn’t know what that had to do with it.
I decided to move further down the pitch to the Langford end as that was where all the action was as Aylesbury were so much on top and I didn’t think their manager would say a lot more as he just seemed to be sitting in his dugout stunned. I also had five pints of lager kicking in and it was hard to see that far.
Langford were losing their rag now and arguing and putting in high tackles. There is only one way to handle this and Aylesbury did what was needed, they scored again.
Brennan latched on a miss field but still had a lot to do, but he did it superbly and slotted home.
It was 4 – 0 game set and match, well not quiet. Langford was putting on a little bit of pressure and I edged round to the clubhouse for a whiz. As I got to the door Henney calmly poked in number five, this was a rout; I thought I would have another drink to celebrate.
I came out suitably refreshed and stood behind the goal and what a place to stand to see the sixth goal. Henney was put through by Schmidt and the keeper came out to narrow the angle, just like my eyes were narrowing to see the play. As the keeper came out to close him, Henney coolly lobbed him from sixteen yards, right into the right hand corner.
It had been a great display by the team; I could not fault any of them.
The Chairman came past me and gave me a wink, I might ask him about that free ticket and then what’s his name came past and I could see the bulge in his pocket where my money was.
Even Danny was smiling and you don’t see that very often.
Oh well, time for a drink and then home.
