A VIEW FROM THE TERRACE
Aylesbury FC v St Margaretsbury
I had to work this morning but got off in time for a pint before going to Haywood Way.
We were playing St Margaretsbury in the league; it seemed like ages since we had played a league game. After today we were once again back in cup action for the next two games.
I hadn’t told the missus I was going, we were not talking and silly Bob hadn’t been talking to me for most of the week either, all over the X Box saga.
I had finally got round Bob on Friday night when I bought him a load of beer and a curry afterwards.
Silly Bob had to go for the hottest curry the restaurant had and in an act of bravado, told the waiter to hot it up as much as possible, he said he was double hard and could eat anything they could make.
Many claims are made about the ferocity of curries eaten, but in the main they are difficult to substantiate. This one I can verify was a XXX Hot Chicken Murg Thaal with extra chillies
The curry was so hot that between kitchen and table it burst into flames, singeing the waiter's eyebrows.
Bob hadn’t come into work today, I rang him and his wife told me what had happened.
Bob had got up this morning and making a cup of tea had done the largest and most catastrophic fart one can imagine in the kitchin.
Suffering from terrible guts silly Bob gingerly attempted to squeeze one out whilst bending to pick up a dropped tea bag, but the resulting flatulent explosion blew his entire digestive tract out of his arse. Paramedics with breathing apparatus pushed them back up.
When I got to the pub Arthur the old boy well into his nineties and as deaf as a post was sitting at the bar nursing his glass.
“Want a drink Arthur,” I said
“No son, I can only have a half as it plays havoc with me piles.
“Oh ok” I said.
He should get together with Silly Bob.
“All right I’ll have a scotch,” he said.
It didn’t look like he had shaved.
“You ok mate” I said.
“No I had to get out of my flat early this morning while the council fumigated it. All the neighbours were complaining about the smell coming out of it.”
“Why what had happened?”
“Well about a month ago I had had some fish fingers and a couple of them must have slipped down the back of the settee.”
“Oh really, these things happen I suppose. I’m off to Aylesbury today their playing St Margaretsbury.”
Arthur was quiet for a minute; at last I thought we were playing someone who hadn’t had the Gerry’s bomb the shit out of them.
“They had a lot of evacuees there during the war,” he said.
I didn’t think I could get away with it completely ; he would get the war in somewhere.
“It got bombed in the war you know son
They had a couple of stray V1’s come down near by.”
I’ll have to get my books out and have a look. I’ll tell you later.”
I couldn’t wait.
I decided to get out before he started on about the surrounding areas.
I arrived in good time to have a pint before the game and the ground was nowhere near as crowded as the last time I was here, I could get a drink easily.
I went into the ground and Danny gave me a look as if I had done something wrong. I checked and my flies were done up.
Mark was presented with another one of those yellow balls for Aylesbury being the team of the month.
I don’t know why they play with them, as a spectator you cant see them very well and in floodlights they are useless. The only time they will be any good is in the snow, but they don’t allow us to play in the snow anymore.
The warm up for the team was being done by Butts as he was suspended for the match. Nice to see him involved.
The teams came out and we were in our famous red and black and Margaretsbury in yellow and black.
The first half was a tame affair, after the excitement of cup and I’m sure the team would rather be playing in the cup than here.
The first half hour Aylesbury were well on top and took all of that time for them to get a chance on goal. The Margaretsbury defence were hard to break down and they had numbers defending.
The rest of the half was played with Aylesbury trying to break down the Margaretsbury defence with no luck.
Once again our forwards lacked the ability to score.
On the run of the game the result should have been decided by half time, as it was, we went in level.
The half time whistle came and I darted round to the clubhouse for a pint. It was one of those hard decisions again, tea or pint, no contest. I had read somewhere that tea can give you tannin poisoning, I was taking no chances.
The second half was just the same as the first, but I think Margaretsbury had put even more people in defence.
Aylesbury were throwing everything at the Margaretsbury defence with no luck, the ball was going all around the goal and when it did find the target the Margaretsbury goalkeeper was up to the challenge.
The Aylesbury defence was coming forward more and more trying their luck and I hoped they would not leave the back door open.
My fear was justified; on 66 minutes when a simple clearance was pumped up field and the resulting cross found its way into the top corner of Aylesbury’s net.
0-1.
The crowd were shocked as were the players, it was against the run of play and really Aylesbury should have had the game won.
One amusing point was when Brennan was fouled and reared up. The referee could not speak very good English and Brennan speaking his Irish brogue, it was a pleasure listening to the exchange. I don’t think either could understand one another.
For the remaining twenty-five minutes the Margaretsbury goalmouth reminded me of the Alamo. Aylesbury launched wave after wave of attacks with little affect.
The final whistle blew and the crowd couldn’t believe the result. Aylesbury had been beaten for the first time in the league and it was hard to take. They would have to wake themselves up for the coming weeks.
I noticed that only a few of the team stayed for the warm down, half of them had gone to the changing room.
I went to the pub, I was upset I needed a beer; I would even listen to Arthur.
Aylesbury FC v St Margaretsbury
I had to work this morning but got off in time for a pint before going to Haywood Way.
We were playing St Margaretsbury in the league; it seemed like ages since we had played a league game. After today we were once again back in cup action for the next two games.
I hadn’t told the missus I was going, we were not talking and silly Bob hadn’t been talking to me for most of the week either, all over the X Box saga.
I had finally got round Bob on Friday night when I bought him a load of beer and a curry afterwards.
Silly Bob had to go for the hottest curry the restaurant had and in an act of bravado, told the waiter to hot it up as much as possible, he said he was double hard and could eat anything they could make.
Many claims are made about the ferocity of curries eaten, but in the main they are difficult to substantiate. This one I can verify was a XXX Hot Chicken Murg Thaal with extra chillies
The curry was so hot that between kitchen and table it burst into flames, singeing the waiter's eyebrows.
Bob hadn’t come into work today, I rang him and his wife told me what had happened.
Bob had got up this morning and making a cup of tea had done the largest and most catastrophic fart one can imagine in the kitchin.
Suffering from terrible guts silly Bob gingerly attempted to squeeze one out whilst bending to pick up a dropped tea bag, but the resulting flatulent explosion blew his entire digestive tract out of his arse. Paramedics with breathing apparatus pushed them back up.
When I got to the pub Arthur the old boy well into his nineties and as deaf as a post was sitting at the bar nursing his glass.
“Want a drink Arthur,” I said
“No son, I can only have a half as it plays havoc with me piles.
“Oh ok” I said.
He should get together with Silly Bob.
“All right I’ll have a scotch,” he said.
It didn’t look like he had shaved.
“You ok mate” I said.
“No I had to get out of my flat early this morning while the council fumigated it. All the neighbours were complaining about the smell coming out of it.”
“Why what had happened?”
“Well about a month ago I had had some fish fingers and a couple of them must have slipped down the back of the settee.”
“Oh really, these things happen I suppose. I’m off to Aylesbury today their playing St Margaretsbury.”
Arthur was quiet for a minute; at last I thought we were playing someone who hadn’t had the Gerry’s bomb the shit out of them.
“They had a lot of evacuees there during the war,” he said.
I didn’t think I could get away with it completely ; he would get the war in somewhere.
“It got bombed in the war you know son
They had a couple of stray V1’s come down near by.”
I’ll have to get my books out and have a look. I’ll tell you later.”
I couldn’t wait.
I decided to get out before he started on about the surrounding areas.
I arrived in good time to have a pint before the game and the ground was nowhere near as crowded as the last time I was here, I could get a drink easily.
I went into the ground and Danny gave me a look as if I had done something wrong. I checked and my flies were done up.
Mark was presented with another one of those yellow balls for Aylesbury being the team of the month.
I don’t know why they play with them, as a spectator you cant see them very well and in floodlights they are useless. The only time they will be any good is in the snow, but they don’t allow us to play in the snow anymore.
The warm up for the team was being done by Butts as he was suspended for the match. Nice to see him involved.
The teams came out and we were in our famous red and black and Margaretsbury in yellow and black.
The first half was a tame affair, after the excitement of cup and I’m sure the team would rather be playing in the cup than here.
The first half hour Aylesbury were well on top and took all of that time for them to get a chance on goal. The Margaretsbury defence were hard to break down and they had numbers defending.
The rest of the half was played with Aylesbury trying to break down the Margaretsbury defence with no luck.
Once again our forwards lacked the ability to score.
On the run of the game the result should have been decided by half time, as it was, we went in level.
The half time whistle came and I darted round to the clubhouse for a pint. It was one of those hard decisions again, tea or pint, no contest. I had read somewhere that tea can give you tannin poisoning, I was taking no chances.
The second half was just the same as the first, but I think Margaretsbury had put even more people in defence.
Aylesbury were throwing everything at the Margaretsbury defence with no luck, the ball was going all around the goal and when it did find the target the Margaretsbury goalkeeper was up to the challenge.
The Aylesbury defence was coming forward more and more trying their luck and I hoped they would not leave the back door open.
My fear was justified; on 66 minutes when a simple clearance was pumped up field and the resulting cross found its way into the top corner of Aylesbury’s net.
0-1.
The crowd were shocked as were the players, it was against the run of play and really Aylesbury should have had the game won.
One amusing point was when Brennan was fouled and reared up. The referee could not speak very good English and Brennan speaking his Irish brogue, it was a pleasure listening to the exchange. I don’t think either could understand one another.
For the remaining twenty-five minutes the Margaretsbury goalmouth reminded me of the Alamo. Aylesbury launched wave after wave of attacks with little affect.
The final whistle blew and the crowd couldn’t believe the result. Aylesbury had been beaten for the first time in the league and it was hard to take. They would have to wake themselves up for the coming weeks.
I noticed that only a few of the team stayed for the warm down, half of them had gone to the changing room.
I went to the pub, I was upset I needed a beer; I would even listen to Arthur.
