A VIEW FROM THE TERRACE
Fantastic Aylesbury FC. V Oxhey Jets
It was a beautiful evening, the sun was shining and I couldn’t wait to get off work and get down my local pub for a quick beer before making my way to Haywood way for what was, I hoped, going to be another great game of football.
Tonight Aylesbury were playing a Basketball team going by their name from a place near Watford.
Arthur an old boy well into his nineties and as deaf as a post was sitting at the bar nursing a near empty glass.
“Want a drink Arthur,” I said
“No son, I can only have a half a shandy as it plays havoc with me bunions.
“Oh ok”
“All right I’ll have a scotch,” he said swigging his beer down that didn’t look anything like shandy to me.
“I’m off to Aylesbury FC tonight” I said shouting so he could hear me; the other two people in the pub didn’t look suitably impressed.
“Going shopping are you”
“No Arthur football, their playing Oxhey jets”
“Poxie are they”
“No Arthur Oxhey, a place near Watford” I shouted.
“Oh Watford, that got bombed in the war you know son and that football team had that queer bloke John playing centre forward for them.”
I searched my limited knowledge for all the players who played for Watford at centre forward with the name John who could be queer and came up with nothing.
“Don’t know Arthur, anyway I’m off now see you later.” I said and headed for the door.
I had the door halfway open when he shouted out “got it, his name was Elton”
I nodded and went out and closed the door.
I arrived in good time to have a pint before the game, the wife thinks I’m doing overtime tonight so I better get as many in before the game and at half time so I can shoot off after the final whistle. I’ve got the extra strong mints in my pocket for the wife’s breath test. I’d better not be late home, the last time I got in late she was sitting up in bed waiting for me, chopping firewood.
A nice young lady asked if I would like a Golden goal ticket and I hesitated after my last experience, but what the heck lightning cant strike twice they say.
The Chairman walked into the bar and nodded, that’s twice in two games, well three if you count the wink after the last game as well, I was starting to think we were getting intimate and was just about to go over to say something when he started talking to the president, what’s his name, the one who fixed the times of the goals.
This was good this non-league football, you got to mix with the big knobs.
I looked at the pitch from the clubhouse window, the grounds man had done a great job the pitch looked good, the pitch had been cut and had stripes going the other way this time from goal to goal.
Time to go in, I noticed the lads were warming up on the pitch next to the ground, I suppose to save the main pitch.
I made my way to the turnstile or red and black guardhouse in this case to get in and Danny was the ticket man, I thought I might try it on. "One concession I said," he just looked at me as though I was completely mad. I grinned and gave him the full amount before I was put in the stocks.
I took up position just along from where the players come out and in a few minutes they came out.
Our lot had ditched the lovely Royal, sky, Italian, blue kit and were in the familiar red and black, Oxhey in yellow.
I decided to move down the ground as the sun was in my eyes and on the way passed big pockets what's his name and he was laughing with the secretary Ian and treasurer Warren about the time of the first goal scored. No way I thought would they be able to fix this game.
Aylesbury must have lost the toss because they kicked off and were kicking into the very low sun to there right,
After the first five minutes it seemed that Aylesbury were once again the far better team
The Oxhey keeper was tested in the first few minutes but apart from that although Aylesbury had numerous shots none of them troubled or tested the keeper.
It was nearing half time and Aylesbury had dominated the game without success, but they had been using a long ball without joy and there finishing had been poor. With a few minutes to go a rare Oxhey attack caught the defence out and Steve Smith in goal had to make a brilliant double save to save the blushes of his teammates.
The half time whistle came and I darted round to the clubhouse for a pint. It was one of those hard decisions I had to make at half time, Tea or a pint, tea or a pint, tea or a pint, I was still deciding when I realised I had already drank half of the first pint.
The second half started and we were doing everything but score and Mr Grumpy on my left was getting agitated and said "tonight this lot couldn't hit a cows ass with a banjo." one way of putting it.
The first goal came after a great build up. About seven good passes were strung together beating the defence all hands up and the ball was fired from the right across the goalmouth, four players went for it and how it never went in the net no one knew. The guy next to me said "that was such a great move it deserved a goal" the words were hardly out of his mouth when the ball which had been cleared out of the area was gathered up by Kilmartin and struck from 30 yards and it rocketed into the top corner of the net. It was a great goal.
We could start to relax a bit now, apart from Mr Grumpy the other side of me who said "about bloody time I expect the manager gave them a right bollocking at half time, I would have kicked their ass.” I suppose that's his way to celebrate a good goal.
The goal was announced at I think 50 minutes, I dug in my pocket for my golden goal ticket and thought I was close; I was miles out by 28 minutes. There was joviality by the stand and I sauntered across. He had only gone and bleeding done it, Mr big pockets what's his name had fixed the match, he had won again. There must be an FA police I can go to.
Aylesbury were getting better by the minute now, they were passing the ball around and dominating the match, the football was a joy to watch, it was only a matter of time before they increased the lead.
The second goal came when Henney beat the offside trap after some neat passing by his teammates and Cooley slipped it past the keeper.
There were smiles in the crowd now and it wasn’t long before Henney made it three with a strike from the left that found the top corner.
Aylesbury were well on top now and I thought this was going to be another high scoring game, but chances were missed and three was all it was going to be.
The final whistle blew and the crowd gave the team a good clap that they deserved, apart from Mr Grumpy that is, who was still complaining that they should have had at least another half a dozen and he didn't know why he was watching them. "See you next time" I said, "Oh yeah, I'm not going to miss a home match this year"
Aylesbury had been the far better team and I suppose that we should not expect them to score goals every minute every game all the time. There are times when the ball does not run for you but over all it was a very good performance.
The chairman took a guy onto the field to have there photo taken with the team. I was told he was a sponsor. One day I thought I would be standing there having my photo taken with the team, if only what's his name will stop fixing games so I can win some bloody money.
Oh well, off home to the wife and tell her what a hard night at work I’ve had.
Fantastic Aylesbury FC. V Oxhey Jets
It was a beautiful evening, the sun was shining and I couldn’t wait to get off work and get down my local pub for a quick beer before making my way to Haywood way for what was, I hoped, going to be another great game of football.
Tonight Aylesbury were playing a Basketball team going by their name from a place near Watford.
Arthur an old boy well into his nineties and as deaf as a post was sitting at the bar nursing a near empty glass.
“Want a drink Arthur,” I said
“No son, I can only have a half a shandy as it plays havoc with me bunions.
“Oh ok”
“All right I’ll have a scotch,” he said swigging his beer down that didn’t look anything like shandy to me.
“I’m off to Aylesbury FC tonight” I said shouting so he could hear me; the other two people in the pub didn’t look suitably impressed.
“Going shopping are you”
“No Arthur football, their playing Oxhey jets”
“Poxie are they”
“No Arthur Oxhey, a place near Watford” I shouted.
“Oh Watford, that got bombed in the war you know son and that football team had that queer bloke John playing centre forward for them.”
I searched my limited knowledge for all the players who played for Watford at centre forward with the name John who could be queer and came up with nothing.
“Don’t know Arthur, anyway I’m off now see you later.” I said and headed for the door.
I had the door halfway open when he shouted out “got it, his name was Elton”
I nodded and went out and closed the door.
I arrived in good time to have a pint before the game, the wife thinks I’m doing overtime tonight so I better get as many in before the game and at half time so I can shoot off after the final whistle. I’ve got the extra strong mints in my pocket for the wife’s breath test. I’d better not be late home, the last time I got in late she was sitting up in bed waiting for me, chopping firewood.
A nice young lady asked if I would like a Golden goal ticket and I hesitated after my last experience, but what the heck lightning cant strike twice they say.
The Chairman walked into the bar and nodded, that’s twice in two games, well three if you count the wink after the last game as well, I was starting to think we were getting intimate and was just about to go over to say something when he started talking to the president, what’s his name, the one who fixed the times of the goals.
This was good this non-league football, you got to mix with the big knobs.
I looked at the pitch from the clubhouse window, the grounds man had done a great job the pitch looked good, the pitch had been cut and had stripes going the other way this time from goal to goal.
Time to go in, I noticed the lads were warming up on the pitch next to the ground, I suppose to save the main pitch.
I made my way to the turnstile or red and black guardhouse in this case to get in and Danny was the ticket man, I thought I might try it on. "One concession I said," he just looked at me as though I was completely mad. I grinned and gave him the full amount before I was put in the stocks.
I took up position just along from where the players come out and in a few minutes they came out.
Our lot had ditched the lovely Royal, sky, Italian, blue kit and were in the familiar red and black, Oxhey in yellow.
I decided to move down the ground as the sun was in my eyes and on the way passed big pockets what's his name and he was laughing with the secretary Ian and treasurer Warren about the time of the first goal scored. No way I thought would they be able to fix this game.
Aylesbury must have lost the toss because they kicked off and were kicking into the very low sun to there right,
After the first five minutes it seemed that Aylesbury were once again the far better team
The Oxhey keeper was tested in the first few minutes but apart from that although Aylesbury had numerous shots none of them troubled or tested the keeper.
It was nearing half time and Aylesbury had dominated the game without success, but they had been using a long ball without joy and there finishing had been poor. With a few minutes to go a rare Oxhey attack caught the defence out and Steve Smith in goal had to make a brilliant double save to save the blushes of his teammates.
The half time whistle came and I darted round to the clubhouse for a pint. It was one of those hard decisions I had to make at half time, Tea or a pint, tea or a pint, tea or a pint, I was still deciding when I realised I had already drank half of the first pint.
The second half started and we were doing everything but score and Mr Grumpy on my left was getting agitated and said "tonight this lot couldn't hit a cows ass with a banjo." one way of putting it.
The first goal came after a great build up. About seven good passes were strung together beating the defence all hands up and the ball was fired from the right across the goalmouth, four players went for it and how it never went in the net no one knew. The guy next to me said "that was such a great move it deserved a goal" the words were hardly out of his mouth when the ball which had been cleared out of the area was gathered up by Kilmartin and struck from 30 yards and it rocketed into the top corner of the net. It was a great goal.
We could start to relax a bit now, apart from Mr Grumpy the other side of me who said "about bloody time I expect the manager gave them a right bollocking at half time, I would have kicked their ass.” I suppose that's his way to celebrate a good goal.
The goal was announced at I think 50 minutes, I dug in my pocket for my golden goal ticket and thought I was close; I was miles out by 28 minutes. There was joviality by the stand and I sauntered across. He had only gone and bleeding done it, Mr big pockets what's his name had fixed the match, he had won again. There must be an FA police I can go to.
Aylesbury were getting better by the minute now, they were passing the ball around and dominating the match, the football was a joy to watch, it was only a matter of time before they increased the lead.
The second goal came when Henney beat the offside trap after some neat passing by his teammates and Cooley slipped it past the keeper.
There were smiles in the crowd now and it wasn’t long before Henney made it three with a strike from the left that found the top corner.
Aylesbury were well on top now and I thought this was going to be another high scoring game, but chances were missed and three was all it was going to be.
The final whistle blew and the crowd gave the team a good clap that they deserved, apart from Mr Grumpy that is, who was still complaining that they should have had at least another half a dozen and he didn't know why he was watching them. "See you next time" I said, "Oh yeah, I'm not going to miss a home match this year"
Aylesbury had been the far better team and I suppose that we should not expect them to score goals every minute every game all the time. There are times when the ball does not run for you but over all it was a very good performance.
The chairman took a guy onto the field to have there photo taken with the team. I was told he was a sponsor. One day I thought I would be standing there having my photo taken with the team, if only what's his name will stop fixing games so I can win some bloody money.
Oh well, off home to the wife and tell her what a hard night at work I’ve had.
